Updated: Dec 31, 2018
It’s New Year’s Eve and we’re preparing for our road trip tomorrow to Park City, UT to spend some time with Randy’s long-lost cousin that we just found this year. Randy left his glasses on the bed and I went to sit down, didn’t see them and put my hand on the bed to help myself stand up because my back was hurting, and crushed said glasses. The middle piece that hangs on your nose cracked in half. I exclaimed from the other room, “Oh shit…. I broke your glasses!” He yells, “YOU BROKE MY F'ing GLASSES” and repeated in several times with increasing gusto. I took it to mean that he made me wrong. Naturally right? He's normally super calm, so this was not his normal.
I'm only looking at this because of my pledge to myself to be completely transparent in the New Year! So, that requires me to walk my talk. You see, I ask my clients all the time….”What are you making it mean?”
Well, I’m mainly interested because I’m noticing how long it took me to let go of a wrong. My husband apologized, we hugged, yet, I’m still upset. How long will it take? Why am I holding on to it? What purpose does it serve?
I mean we are married, and this shit is going to happen all the time. My head knows this but interesting about residual feelings. Luckily, as a coach, we go through same things as everyone else. We just have cool tools to support us in letting go of what doesn’t serve us and move forward.
Isn’t the loving way to be to just accept apology and let it go? Or perhaps, even the apology isn’t necessary? Maybe we could just let these things roll off. My husband’s intention was not to hurt me. His intention was exasperation because we lost them the other day and it’s about $1200 to replace, so he was already traumatized by that situation, Luckily, he went back to look and found them the next morning.
Brings up another point. I’m using a new planner this year called, “What Will I Do to Feel The Way I Want To Feel” by Danielle Laporte and each day I’ll have the opportunity to fill in:
· My Core Desired Feelings
· What I will do to feel the way I want to feel
· How will I honor my body?
· I will pray for _____.
· Does it feel light or heavy?
· Stop doing _____.
After moaning that I didn’t want to complete all this EVERY day, I filled this out this morning, choosing Love and Patience as my Core Desired Feelings.
So, it’s like a big, cold splash of water in my face when I realized how I was feeling was NOT CREATED. Shit is always going to happen and we’re not always going to react the way we expect to. But the great part, is once we’re aware, we can simply choose something different. We always have our super power of choosing.
This whole new planner thing seemed like overkill when I first saw it, but I think it’s actually perfect for me to learn to practice CHOOSING daily how I want to feel.
This whole year 2019 – I’m coming out and will authentically share in the hopes of helping you live your BEST life, whatever that may be. When we can feel the essence of joy no matter what’s crazy thing is going on around us is definitely something I’m taking on this year.
How do you want to spend your 2019? Who do you want to be?
I help people learn a really easy way to learn about and manage their own energy in a way that allows them to create more of what they do want.
I’m ready and excited about 2019 because my intention is to reach and help so many more people create their BEST life. Are you ready?
Allison Field, PCC, ELI-MP
Energy Leadership Coach